cdlafere:

beanerschnitzel:

ponytailwhippingnacho:

christophool:

vorticity007:

supaslim:

Guys, let me tell you about orcas.

Orca whales are mean motherfuckers. They cruise the oceans with only two things in mind: one, having sex, and two, eating every poor fuck they find out there that’s smaller than them. They are such badass motherfuckers that even great white motherfucking sharks don’t dare fuck with them, which in my books, places them above the sperm whale as Biggest Badass of the Ocean. And why don’t sharks bother them, you may wonder? Because orcas fucking learned that if you flip a shark over they go into a sort of coma, so now they do it intentionally so they can eat the motherfucking sharks. Not only that, but orcas have also learned how to hunt sperm whales and motherfucking sea birds.

The orca whale lives in a matriarchal pod. Every pod has unique hunting methods and whatnot, which is passed down from parent to offspring- these scary fuckers have formed civilizations. And what do they do for fun, apart from hopping around on the water’s surface and grinning like crazy mofos? They hunt for fun, going so far as to tip over ice floes and beach themselves just for the thrill of killing.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Orca whales are too damn cute and smiley looking to be heartless predators of the sea. Well, let me counter-argue with this photo:

image

THOSE ARE NOT THE TEETH OF A CREATURE THAT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

Reblogging for excellent commentary.

Why has nobody mentioned what’s happening in the original gif?

This is how orcas hunt - or, it’s one of the ways they do. They have a ton of tricks and techniques they use to fuck up everything below them on the food chain, and that gif portrays my personal favorite.

Orcas will literally BEACH THEMSELVES to grab unsuspecting seals (or whatever else happens to be splashing around in the surf) and snarf them down like hot dogs. Yeah, that’s right. This is a 6-ton apex predator, crashing right out of the fucking water to snatch their prey right off the beach. Any other animal that size would get stuck there and die, but do you see that fucker? He fucking wriggles right back into the surf. An orca can get all the way up onto dry land and still manage to wiggle their way back into the water to fuck up more shit on another day. There is literally no other sea-dwelling creature of comparative size with that ability - most sea animals lack the muscular strength to move without enough water supporting their weight.

Orcas have also been known to eat moose. Yeah, that’s right. Fucking MOOSE.

You don’t fuck with orcas.

!!!

tags:
#ooc

friendly reminder that bitchy nonnies get deleted, not answered.

if it continues, your ass gets blocked. :D

generalpitchiner:

image

-changes Koz’s wallpaper to something ridiculous-

*sends him nudes that may or may not be of him at a compromising situation*

Squeaks. Throws phone across the room.

Your muse sees mine up for sale at an auction. How much would your muse pay to buy them and why?

ask-bloody-fundanny:

image

(Source: thepharaohinleather)

tags:
#lorddevourer
The Lock

He floated through the blackness of space, drifting as the black holes squabbled, warring back and forth until only one came out on top, devouring the other. The star child’s mind already faded to black, leaving him unresponsive. At the very least, what was sealed within remained as such.

Cat and Mouse

lorddevourer:

"Y̮̼̭̼̤͠o̴̜͕̻̦u̪̰̪͖̙̮͘ t̃̅̈́͞rͬ̔̓͂ý̆͒͏ t̰͔̣̦͠o͏̯͍̞̦ r̃es̒̏͝i͑̄͑̏͆͏s̆̈́̑̑ͤ͏t̛̓͋ͤ̓̆̽.ͫ̋̃͋̈́ͤ̍  F͐̔͂̐̚҉͕̮̘̪͇̜ǔ̫̩̽ͨt̛i̛ͧļ̥̜͈̼̬ͪ̑̒ͧ̊̃̀ͅȅ̴̖̽ͩ̓ͩ.̶̩̦ H̴͕͓͍̱͘͜e̷̡͕̮͕͙̠̩͡͝ wͪ̊̔̍̑͊iͫͤ̾l̅͑lͮͭ C̹̗͙͚̳̯̙ͣ̽̌̀̒̈́̓̑̂̂̂͂ͦͣ͘͞ǫ̵͎̖̭̝̱̜ͦ̑́́̒m̴̢̆͌ͭ̿ͧ̒̍̈҉̻͔̭̤̹̠͉̰͉͈͝ê̢̤͙̺̠̣̲̤͈͉͕͕͇͈̰̣ͧ͋̓̒͑͆̍́͆ͩ̔ͧ͐ͩ͑͋̚͘ͅ.̢̦͔̦͇̌͊͊͛ͧͨ͑̚͘͜”

The Void swirled. Surrounded. Settled. All-encompassing. Time-erasing. Eternal.

Swirled. Parted.

Another gravitational field disrupting it. More powerful than a star’s, more powerful than most celestial creatures could imagine.

Another black hole.

image

"He will, but not today."

That voice was familiar. Darkside groaned.

The thrumming in his head began to subside, but he was still fatigued. He tried to hold onto consciousness at least, to be aware of who was around him. Unfortunately he didn’t have power enough to get himself away. All he could do was drift aimlessly.

"Why you?" He managed.

(Source: omnipotentmoon)

tags:
#Anonymous
As it had just now come to mind, Darkside. If you met Darkseid, would you get along, or would you not?
Anonymous

"That all depends on if he can handle me, dearie. I’m sure my female form would go over far better."

tags:
#ooc

It has come to my attention that pretty much the entirety of the Guardians RP community on instagram has stolen art without crediting.

This is heavy.

tags:
#lorddevourer
Cat and Mouse

lorddevourer:

It had tired itself. The weakness of the living made flesh. The flaw of beings of light.

Predictable.

Boring.

The Void spread, circling its prey. Run down. Cornered. Long dead were it not for the possibility that the lock would change holders upon death.

Opening that lock was just a matter of time. It was in the Beginning when torture was perfected.

image

"Į ha̕v̨e̴  c̷ǫ̀͏m̢e͟ f̕o̧r̀  M̷̢͡y͞ L̕ơ̴͟ŗ̀͞d̡,̸͠  a͏n̨d̷̀  
M̏̄ͫ̕͢yͦ͠ L̐͡ó̢ͭͯr̸̈́͗͒̌͗̚͝d̡̛ͨͥ̃ͮ̚̕  tͧ̒h̄̚͢i̎̇̊͞s͛  Ṽ̃̐̆̄̍õ҉íͤ͛ͧ͟͡cͮͭ̎̓̉̚͟ë̶̡́̊̄̿ͨ̽̉͘  w̵̏̎i̋̂̓̕͝͞l͐ͨ̎̍ͮ͜ļ̶̨͗̒̉  ř̶̡̾̈́ͦ̄ͭ̓ͥ̈́ͯ҉ę̧̧ͫ͌ͮ̉̇͠͠a̢̛͑ͦ͋͆ͧ͢c̶̵ͧ͛͂͐̂̑̽̈́͆ͦ̚h̛̍̐̆͒̀̅͝͝.”

"Fuck…" Something throbbed in his head. He curled up as the shadows churned around him. The seal had to remain and so it would. Darkside was willing to put his life on the line to keep this thing locked up.

"No one’s listening. You won’t get through, bastard."

(Source: omnipotentmoon)

tags:
#ooc

BE EMPOWERED MY DUCKIES.

GET THOSE BASTARDS ACCOUNTS SHUT DOWN.

We asked nicely. Now it’s time for hard ball.